by: Billie Walters, LMSW
In today’s world, we hear the term “self care” so many times on a daily basis that it can start to become background noise. What is self care anyway? Many of us think of bubble baths and spa days as self care and then we decide that those luxuries are not in our budget - either we can’t afford the service or the time it takes to enjoy them.
The truth is, Self Care is a very important part of our lives as human beings. We experience life on a daily basis and too often our list of priorities rarely includes ourselves. So, what is self care really? How can we practice it and in ways that appeal to us?
Types of Self Care
There are multiple ways in which we can take care of ourselves from what we eat to what we listen to, it all has the potential to impact our well being. In the following months, there will be blog articles expanding on each type of care, and the possible ways to practice them.
Emotional Self Care - Emotions can be considered “energy in motion” and when they arise, they need to be expressed so they do not get stuck and cause issues over time. Here are a few activities that can be useful in expressing emotions.
Journaling - Utilizing a journal can be helpful to express feelings in a written way. Blank journals are great for documenting experiences and processing how we feel about a situation. Guided journals are full of prompts for individuals who appreciate some direction. There are many useful guided journals and workbooks to help work through many different emotions.
Art/Creative Expression - Many artists are known for expressing themselves through multiple mediums such as drawing, painting and sculpting. You do not have to be an excellent artist to utilize creative expression as a means of self care. Maybe you enjoy crochet or woodworking. Any form of creativity can be a way to express how we are feeling in the moment. Perhaps with every stitch that is woven, a feeling is let go or with every layer sanded, we can release feelings that no longer serve us.
Reading - Some people enjoy reading and are able to experience and express a range of emotions as they follow a character through a story that may be adventurous, humorous or even tragic. By relating to others in the book, we can often elicit feelings that we may not otherwise be able to reach within ourselves.
Physical Self Care - Physical self care may be what most of us think of when we hear the term “self care”. Often images of candle-lit bubble baths and warm fuzzy socks come into our minds-eye when we hear it. While those things have their place, physical self care is just what it states - taking care of our physical self. The way many of our lives are structured has us running around with schedules that leave very little time for taking care of ourselves. To change this, we can implement multiple strategies to reduce stress and increase our overall well being.
Nature - Spending time in nature can help reduce stress and promote physical activity. Whether you are hiking or spending time sitting in a park, being outside can boost your mood. If you are limited and unable to spend much time outside, having nature indoors can help as well. House plants and other natural materials like wood and stone can bring a sense of nature into our space.
Exercise - Physical activity causes our brains to release endorphins, also called the “feel good” chemicals which contributes to a positive mood. In addition to this reaction, when we increase physical activity, our body also reaps the benefits.
Sleep - Getting enough sleep is important to our overall health and getting quality sleep is even more important. To ensure that we are getting quality sleep, we might want to examine our Sleep Hygiene. Sleep Hygiene consists of factors such as consistent bedtimes, bedtime routines and habits like being in front of a screen too close to bedtime.
Hygiene - Similar to Sleep Hygiene, our overall physical hygiene is important as well. Taking care of our bodies from head to toe by washing, brushing and cleaning our entire body. The body is an intricate system where every part works together. Something as simple as keeping our teeth and gums healthy will also promote a healthy body in many ways.
Social Self Care - Social self care consists of cultivating and maintaining connections with others. Family, friends, co-workers, classmates, etc. can all become a part of our social connections. We are “pack animals” meaning we thrive by nurturing safe, healthy relationships with others. Think of social connections like a net that is there to support us when we are not feeling so stable. Having someone to talk with or spend time with can help reduce feelings of depression and increase feelings of belonging. It can sometimes be hard to make new social connections as adults but some of the following may be helpful in finding your own way to meet new people or foster existing connections that may need more attention.
Reach out to existing connections - If there are individuals you have not spoken to in a while and you consider them a positive connection, reach out to them. There are no rules on who has to contact whom and rarely does someone purposefully “ghost” their friend if there has not been a breakdown in the relationship. Even if there may have been some sort of conflict, if this is a genuine connection with a like-minded or like-hearted person….it’s a good idea to extend an olive branch and work to resolve the issues.
Pay attention to your “spiral” - I will often compare our individual worlds to a spiral. We are all at the center of our own spiral and the people closest to us are generally the most important. At birth, those are usually our parents/caregivers. As we grow and begin developing relationships with friends and romantic partners, our parents move outward, making space for these new connections. Throughout life, individuals will move closer to us and further away depending on where they belong at any given time. Sometimes friendships that were forged during painful parts of our lives became connections of ill coping tools. If you have moved forward on a healing journey and they have not, there is a good chance they no longer need to occupy a spot so close to you. By allowing them to shift into a new place, it will create space for new connections that may be more aligned with your current energy.
Meet New People - It can be challenging in adulthood to make new friends. Throughout our childhood and adolescence, we form friendships with schoolmates and peers we meet in sports, clubs, etc. Once we get out into the world, it can feel difficult to form new connections with others. Living in this age of technology, we now have more options for meeting people. Apps like Meet Up can help you find like-minded folks. These types of apps allow you to search for groups based on special interests such as reading, crafting, cooking, etc. Meetings can be posted and you RSVP to attend and meet others who share an interest. If you are not tech savvy or you prefer meeting people organically, seeking out events like painting classes, cooking classes, music festivals, etc. can be the way to go. Regardless of how you choose to meet others, the most important part is that you go and participate.
Spiritual Self Care - When we hear the word spiritual some of us may automatically think religion. While religion is how some connect to their spirituality, that is not necessary for spiritual self care. Nurturing the spirit can come in many forms. Spending time in nature, listening to music, creating art and meditation are some ways in which we can nurture our spirit. Spirituality can be a very personal thing for many people so the way in which you choose to practice spiritual self care can be just as personal and special for you. For this reason, the examples below are going to reflect only a small fraction of the many ways we can practice.
Mindfulness - Being mindful means to be present in the moment without judgment. It is to stand in the rain and notice that it is raining without having an opinion if that is a good thing or a bad thing. So often, we judge our situations, environments and others that we become so caught up in our thoughts that we don’t notice what is around us. How many times have you gone to work or to the grocery store and didn’t notice the color of the door on the house across the street from the stop sign? Or perhaps you get annoyed with a coworker and never notice that they always buy an extra bagel for the elderly gentleman who sits on the bench outside of the office. Being present in the moment allows us to connect with everything around us, including ourselves and our bodies.
Gratitude - Practicing gratitude has been shown to improve mood and feelings of self worth. There are as many ways to practice gratitude as there are things to be grateful for. One way to practice this is to start a gratitude journal; a gratitude journal can be a daily log of what you are grateful for and why. Another way to practice gratitude is to “count your blessings” at the end of the day. This doesn’t have to be written down and can be done mentally at any point as you are closing out your day.
Nature - Again, nature is a great way to practice self care and spiritual care is no exception. Being among the trees, water and wildlife can bring a sense of connection that we rarely experience inside of our homes or at work. If you do not live near a natural space like a park, beach or forest you can bring elements of nature indoors with plants, fountains and stones.
Religion/Belief System - For some individuals believing in something outside of themselves, practicing religion or elements of a specific belief system is a way to nurture their spirit. This can include gathering in a congregation or practicing in solitude.
Listening - Often we can nurture our spirit by listening to music. Certain songs, melodies and frequencies can enhance our feelings of connection. Listening to motivational talks can enhance positive feelings and elevate our mood. Listening to spiritual or motivational audiobooks can also support our spiritual self care. Through listening, we can learn ways to nurture our spirit and self love.
Spiritual Coaching/Mentoring - Seeking out spiritual coaching or mentoring is another option for practicing spiritual self care. For some individuals, spirituality is a new concept and they may want to seek guidance. Many cultures have had Shamans, Sages and Gurus who help guide others along their spiritual path.
This list is not exhaustive and in no way complete. Self care is important and also a personal journey. Some things here may resonate and some may not. You are allowed to try things and change them to what works for you on your journey.
In the following months, there will be blog articles expanding on each type of care and the possible ways to practice them. In addition to the general examples given above, we will have links to help you connect with resources that may be helpful for how you want to practice. Remember, self care is a practice and no one is expected to do it all in one go. Having a practice means that we try new things and create ways in which we regularly are caring for ourselves.
2 Birds Counseling Services offer supportive holistic services and classes that are designed to promote well being. For more information, visit our website at www.2birdscounseling.com.
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